Bondage 101: What to do with a Partner who's Cuffed

So now that you know what kinds of cuffs, spreaders, restraints, and other fun items are out there, the next step is to put that to use.

You've got some cuffs. You have an assortment of clips and snap hooks and such to go with them. You have a ready and willing partner. Now what?

Many of the same ideas that apply to rope bondage, especially with regard to the psychology of bondage, hold just as true if you use cuffs instead of rope. Cuffs are more comfortable and easier to use than rope, so the psychological sense of anticipation is easier to play with as well. Some things you can do to play with this sense of anticipation:

  • Have your partner wear a set of wrist and ankle cuffs around the house when you're not home, as a reminder of what's in store when you do get home.
  • Wear the cuffs discreetly as you go about your normal routine outside the house, as a secret reminder of the things to come. This is particularly easy to do with ankle cuffs, which can easily be concealed beneath clothing.
  • Wear a set of cuffs while you sleep, giving your partner an invitation and an opportunity to restrain you during the night or in the morning.

When it comes to the business of actually tying your partner down using cuffs, there are several ways to go about it. You can tie a rope to the cuffs, then tie the other end of the rope to a bed frame, overhead point, or whatever else strikes your fancy; you can hook the cuffs to each other or directly to an attachment point using snap hooks, carabiners, or locks; you can use straps with a ring at each end, and hook one end of the strap to the cuff and the other end to the bed or wherever else you like; or you can hook the cuffs to spreader bars, to keep your partner's arms and/or legs apart.

One especially quick and easy way to use cuffs is with straps that have a "D" ring on each end. You can buy these, or make them from a couple of D-rings and some denim cloth, or even use rope with a D-ring tied at each end. The straps can be wrapped around bed frames or just about anything else, and the D-rings offer attachment points for the cuffs.

Stay put!

One especially fun thing to do is to use straps or ropes about two or three feet long, together with a set of padlocks. Cuff your partner's wrists and ankles. Lock one end of each strap to the corners of your bed, and lock the other end to the cuffs. (If you don't have a four-poster bed, you can use some of the under-the-bed techniques talked about here.) This gives you enough flexibility that you can turn your partner over or put your partner in any position you can imagine, but prevents him or her from leaving the bed. Once you have your partner restrained this way, you can pretty much do as you wish, and he or she will not be able to escape.

Beyond the Bedroom

Another fun technique involves cuffing your partner to the table. A large dining table works well. Loop a rope through a pair of ankle cuffs and tie your partner's ankles to the table legs, then bend your partner over the table. Attach straps or ropes to the ankle cuffs, and tie them to the opposite table legs on the other side of the table, keeping your partner stretched out over the table. This is a great position for impact play such as spanking or flogging, and allows you free access to your partner from behind.

This works well with smaller tables such as coffee tables, too. Bend your partner over the table so that his or her hands and knees are both on the floor on opposite sides of the table, then use the cuffs to attach your partner's wrists and ankles to the legs of the table. Again, this provides excellent access for impact play and for from-behind sex.

A variant on this is to lay your partner on his or her back on a small table such as a coffee table. Place a set of thigh cuffs around the upper legs just above the knees, and a strap or rope with D-rings on each end beneath the shoulders. Draw your partner's knees up toward his or her chest, and attach the thigh cuffs to the strap to hold them there. Cuff your partner's wrists at his or her sides to the edge of the table, and cuff his or her ankles to ropes or straps attached to the other legs of the table. This will keep your partner in a position on his or her back, legs apart, knees drawn up, and arms immobilized at the sides, which is a position suitable for all sorts of sex, sensation play, and impact play.

Restraint without immobilization

You can do things other than completely immobilizing your partner. Sometimes, a bit of freedom is fun to play with, especially if you like making your partner squirm. Connect a set of ankle cuffs with a short (12"-18") rope--or, for better security, use a strap and small padlocks. Lock your partner's wrists together with wrist cuffs, and run a strap or rope from the wrist cuffs to the ankle cuffs. This will allow your partner some freedom of motion, depending on how long the ropes or straps are, but still enable you to do pretty much whatever you want; it can be great fun to have your partner squirm around and try to escape as you're doing things to him or her. (Spanking, tickling, temperature play, the prickle and poke variety of sensation play, and sex are all good bets for the "doing things" part.)

Hog tie

Cuffs make the old classic hog tie much simpler; rather than learning how to tie rope, you need only lay your partner on his or her front and then cuff wrists to ankles. You can do this quite simply with a couple of short straps or even with a couple of large snap hooks, though there are special X-shaped straps designed specifically for this purpose as well. Once your partner is restrained in this position, he or she is an easy target for spanking or paddling.

What you'll need

Bondage for Sex
by Chanta Rose

This book is not technically about cuffs; it's about many types of bondage for the purpose of sex. It outlines a number of different scenarios and is packed with ideas about integrating bondage and sex; many of the ideas in this book work equally well with cuffs or rope bondage.

Master padlocks
Multiple padlocks of the same
size keyed the same
Tiny padlocks are great for working with both cuffs and chain. I have a handful of these that I keep in my toy bag; they're both decorative and functional. Use them with cuffs, collars, and chain.

Hog tie strap
Leather, 11" wide, with four
spring-loaded hooks
Quick, simple, convenient submission. This strap with four snap hooks makes putting your partner in a hog tie effortless, and puts him or her in a very accessible position for whatever fun you have in mind.

Nylon Tethers
Adjustable from 12" to 48",
each strap includes O-ring with snap hook on each end
These tethers are great for use with cuffs. They're long enough to provide flexibility (or freedom of motion, if you're so inclined), and make restraining your partner nearly effortless.

Leather Bondage Straps
28" long, 2" wide heavy leather
straps with D-ring permanently
attached to each end.
Available in three colors.
More secure than the tethers shown above, these straps allow you to use padlocks to restrain your partner. One end has a larger D-ring than the other, which allows you to loop the strap around an object such as a table leg or bedpost.


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